Share
THE 2013-2014 Ashes would be remembered for Australia’s 5-0 win, their first since 2006-07. But when the series began, it was another aspect that hogged the headlines. It had to do with an 82-page document pertaining to the English team that was the cause of much consternation on the Australian side. Lest you think this many-pages-long document had to do with some critical element, upsetting whose sensitive calibration would be an unconscionable lapse on the part of the Australians, we’ll hasten to add that the missive was — a list of food.
The document contained over 194 dishes that were to be prepared for the visiting Englishmen, across breakfast, lunch, snacks, tea-time and dinner, at each of the five venues they would be playing at (Brisbane, Adelaide, Perth, Melbourne, Sydney). Further, these preparations — listed across 12 pages — were meant to exactingly follow the recipes contained in the following 70 pages of the same handbook. The recipes featured such stars as “butternut squash and falafel coronation”, “piri-piri breaded tofu with tomato salsa”, “mungbean curry with spinach”, “pistachio and ginger biscotti” and “quinoa and cranberry breakfast bar”, to name just a few.
If those dishes weren’t enough to whet the XI’s appetite, consider the guidelines meant to be followed after the first day of every Test match: As per The Guardian, this included a spread being laid out in the England team’s dressing room 20 minutes before the end of play. The dishes to be served as part of this repast were:
Moroccan spiced griddled chicken fillets with lime and coriander mayo, lamb and pea kofta kebabs with mint yoghurt, roasted vegetable and halloumi kebabs with red pepper dip, ginger and garlic king prawn kebabs with garlic mayo, a selection of whole wheat French bread pizzas (parma ham and tomato/feta and red onion), selection of sandwiches (grilled aubergine, red pepper, red onion and basil puree; Cajun salmon, yoghurt and cucumber; Thai citrus chicken and rocket; avocado, raw slaw and butterbean; turkey breast, basil and pine nut), almond and cinnamon flapjacks, banana and peanut bars (protein-based Maximuscle), with chocolate and coconut truffles to finish.
Alastair Cook in the Lord's Cricket Ground kitchen
If you feel that’s a little too elaborate and lavish, consider the well-intentioned advice that followed this list. “The quantities must be followed, along with the ingredients listings,” the document stated. Only freshly cooked meats were to be used for sandwiches — no processed versions; fish had to be filleted and completely deboned. All the mayonnaise and yoghurt served or used had to be low-fat.
Comparatively, the breakfast requirements come across as low-key: pumpkin seed and goji berry breakfast bars, whole wheat English muffins with smoked salmon and egg or mushroom and egg, buckwheat pancakes with probiotic yoghurt and fresh berries. Lest you think the boys wouldn’t have enough to go on, there was to be a selection of fruit bowls (containing bananas, green apples, oranges and kiwis), fresh yoghurt (accompanied by a separate bowl of berries, agave nectar or honey) and a smorgasbord of nuts and dried fruits (almonds, cashews, hazelnuts, dried figs and apricots, raisins and dates).
Speaking with the Sydney Morning Herald, the Cricket Australia’s then nutritionist Michelle Cort admitted that the “Baggy Greens” also “sent food guidelines and instructions to venues before touring, to ensure players were receiving the right nutrients” including when they travelled to England for the previous Ashes. But this document had nowhere close to the level of detail contained in the English catering requirements, as Cort confirmed: “(Ours) certainly wasn’t 82 pages.”
