With so much of our lives becoming an extension of our online presence, the evolution of dating has taken a natural course to become an experience that first begins with digital interactions. A few conversations later, meeting someone at a coffee shop or a bar becomes the next step to take a potential interest forward. As the idea of love and dating change with generational upgrades, spaces – especially public spaces – play a pivotal factor in creating boundaries, while also becoming a place to be intimate and candid.
With the diminishing luxury of open spaces also come the advantages of urban living, which enables one to be exposed to a variety of options that blend experiences with food and drink; restaurants, bars, cafés and coffee shops being some of the most likely spots to calm nervous jitters between sips of coffee or a glass of wine. With a special focus on coffee shops – nationwide chains serving cups of tall frappes like clockwork to specialty coffee places that display buttery croissants promising consolation after a bland conversation – meeting someone over a steaming cappuccino is almost as regular as any other social interaction.
“When we started, we noticed that there was a huge demography of people who were willing to spend that extra buck for a quality product. Over a period of time, we realised that coffee is less of a product and more of an experience, so we started thinking about how to make the experience more fun for everyone and came up with a bunch of concepts over the years. When you go on a date, you don’t want to formalise it too much because there’s already too many intimidating things happening. You still want a very casual atmosphere, so you’re actually diverting your attention with something experiential so that the conversation can flow smoothly,” points out Ganga Prabhakar – co-founder of the Bengaluru-based Coffee Mechanics and Kana.
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As if in agreement to this, Havovi Antia – a 30-year old Mumbai-based event manager says that most of her first dates begin by meeting at coffee shops – since it allows one the freedom to gauge their romantic interest basis of more than just their looks or personality. “I think that what someone orders off of a menu also has a major role in understanding the sort of traits they might possess. How they interact with the staff or how well they respond to the environment around them, become telling signs of how compatible we feel we are with them,” she adds. While talking about her experience, Havovi emphasises on a rather interesting aspect about dates, saying that there are instances when some might feel uncomfortable sharing a meal for the first time, whereas sipping on coffee feels distanced yet provides perspective.
For hopeless romantics, a study conducted by the Scientific American magazine suggests that an increase in blood pressure due to the kick from caffeine is often registered by the brain as attraction – when scanning emotions to attribute physical reactions like the increase in heartbeat and sensory alertness. Ganga quips that, “When designing Kana, we were mindful about keeping the aesthetics of the space very calming and relaxed, so that the attention can remain on the conversation. Any element that would make the consumer feel intimidated, we knocked off – this means that shiny materials like brass were off the table. People want to go out and genuinely have a good time, the façade of living up to expectations is not there as extensively anymore. The focus has now shifted to whether people can find something unique, if they enjoy doing similar things or if they like the same kind of food.”
Havovi adds that, with time she has also begun to find favourite spots to meet dates across the city, making it a point to suggest these locations as meeting places. “I like the friendship I’m able to share with the staff in these places, while also helping myself feel more confident. Being in a space that I’m well-versed with allows me to feel more sure of what I’m doing or who I’m talking to, instead of second-guessing myself for the slightest things. I even enjoy suggesting things off of a menu that I think they might like, based on their preferences.”